This semester hasn’t been the best for me. I feel as if I’ve been drifting from one negative sphere to the next for weeks. A few of my classes are enormously frustrating in a losing faith in the academy and humanity kind of way. It sounds dramatic because it is. Both of my jobs are full of negative energy and my personal life is a mess. I keep letting the passive-aggressive folks in my life take up more space than the loving, brilliant, supportive folks. My family is dealing with all sorts of awful life issues (the regular awful things like cancer and hospitals and surgeries and broken relationships) and I am not enjoying being so far away from everyone. Especially my mom. I really miss Momster.
I’ve been in one of my Perfidious Purple stages. The Perfidious Purples is a term I coined ages ago, early on in my love affair with Truman Capote’s work. It’s more or less when you mix the Basic Blues with his Angry Reds. Perfidious Purple. That’s what you get. And that’s how I’ve been feeling. (I almost wish I’d remembered my purple/depression association before painting my whole room in purple hues…but that’s okay. It’s a great color, really.)
Purple days aren’t fun. Purple days are unproductive days, and the lack of energy and creation in my life makes me even more sad. Being sad is sad, and thinking about that makes you more sad and all of a sudden you’re in a hurricane of sad. It’s easy to be happy, but I frequently forget that.
Luckily, internet sensation (she’s a sensation because I adore her) Elmify is here to save the day! Elmify’s videos are among my very favorite videos on YouTube. I’m glad I remembered this one today. It worked! I already feel less bummed out! Even if you’re feeling great, I think it will make you feel even better. Watch it!
I think it’s a good time to follow Elmify’s four steps:
1. Compliment yourself.
I spent FORTY-FIVE MINUTES talking to a professor today…just talking. This totally defies my “professors are busy and want me to leave them alone” theory. It was really great. This doesn’t seem like a self-compliment, but when you factor in my extreme social anxiety it’s a tiny feat in a lifelong battle. Huzzah!
2. Things that make me happy. These things made me happy today:
Letters, scarves, warm socks, deep thoughts, a documentary about ballet, an afternoon nap, writing and a baked sweet potato. There’s so much to be happy about!
3. Go do something! and 4. Do something for someone else.
I think what I need to cheer me up is some time with my dear friend, Jennie. I’m buying dinner, and tea and tickets (…it’s $5. I didn’t want you to go and get impressed.) to see Danielle Ate the Sandwich! Danielle’s shows are always so great, and Jennie is my oldest friend. If that can’t cheer me up then…that’s silly. I know it’s going to cheer me up. I’m already cheered!
Even if you’re already cheerful, these four steps are really helpful to make you feel even better. What’s your self compliment? What are some things that make you happy? What are you doing? And what have you done for someone else recently?