Christmas Adam!

It’s Christmas Adam… the day before Christmas Eve!!  Hilarious, right?  I didn’t make that up.  I learned it from my good friend/dear roommate, Allie.  She has a special relationship with Christmas Adam.  It was the first day she ever spent on Earth.  That’s right!  It’s not just Christmas Adam, it’s ALLIE DAY!!!

I wanted to make Allie Day and Christmas two distinct events.  My birthday is two-ish weeks after Christmas, but I’ve spent my life being plagued by the Christmas-Birthday-In-One catastrophe.  Catastrophe is an extreme exaggeration, but it’s disappointing when the one day of the year that’s your day ends up being filled with clearance Christmas ornaments wrapped in Santa paper.  I can only imagine Allie’s had a worse time of this, given the Christmas Adam/Allie Day collision.  But…after a Sad Day, we cheated and had a birthday/Christmas present extravaganza on Wednesday.

Here’s something you should know about me:  Gift giving is my thing.  Some people are good at math, some people are good at swimming.  I’m not particularly skilled at either of those things, but I am stellar at giving presents.  I think it’s because I’m also pretty fabulous at listening.  Really listening, being present in a conversation.  Sure, maybe we only met once but if you told me a story about your brother’s fiance’s uncle who has a neighbor with a dog…I probably remember that dog’s name.  I’m also bizarrely competitive about my gift giving.  I have this neurotic need to give the best and most perfect presents.

A billion months ago, Allie and I went to the annual PowWow hosted by our school.  Allie admired a pair of earrings and I managed to buy them right in front of her without her even noticing!  Ha!  I found her a great insulated tumbler so she can take hot chocolate to the bus.  And, and, and!  This is the best:  special gloves for her iPhone!!  Allie has one of those touch screen situations and always has this problem of freezing her fingers off when trying to text me…and other people…but totally mostly me.  (I need to feel needed.) These special gloves are either magical or have human flesh sewn into them, because they respond to the touch screen.  Magic!  Or creepy.  Either way, totally handy.  I apologize for that pun.

Okay, so all of that’s good.  But I believe in making things great.  That’s where Top Gun comes in.  I happen to know that several years before I knew Allie, she made an exercise video to the Top Gun soundtrack.  I also know that Allie was born in the 1980s.  When I saw the “I Love the 80s” sticker on the Top Gun DVD…it was happening.  The 80s gave us Top Gun AND Allie.  Perfection.

This was a birthday/Christmas extravaganza, that’s why there’s so much happening…also, you should know that I shop for Christmas all year long.  I didn’t go out and spend a billion dollars two weeks before Christmas Adam.  SO.  The final piece of my Allie-centered-gift-giving masterpiece?  The entire series of Dawson’s Creek on DVD.  All six seasons.  Scoff if you want, but that is some quality television.  I haven’t seen much of the show personally, but I’ve heard about its quality from Allie, and she has a sixth sense around television.  She can always spot the show that’s worth your time (The OC, Parks&Rec, 30 Rock, Dawson’s Creek) and knows which seasons to skip (the fourth, none of them, that last one, the first two).

I was glowing with the delightful feeling of making someone else happy via gift giving.  Then it was Thursday.  Then Mike showed up.  Cue the arch-nemesis music.  He’s the Draco to my Harry.  That’s all a lie.  Mike is great.  Mike is Allie’s gentleman.  It’s unfortunate that we are now mortal enemies.  This happened:He showed up with a billion awesome gifts.  And I know we’re not supposed to buy love (but I know we can rent it!) but oh did my competitive spirit kick into overdrive.  I started coming up with insane spur of the moment gifts.  Like this hilarious literal music video of that Hero song.  In a fit of insomnia, I outfitted our house with nutty signs celebrating Allie Day.

So…I’m probably insane.  But at least Allie Day was great.  I hope all of you enjoyed your Christmas Adam and/or fourth day of Hanukkah!


3 thoughts on “Christmas Adam!

  1. I have not even finished reading this yet, but I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING over the thought of human flesh being sewn into the gloves. What this says about me, I don’t… Okay, I’m crazy.

    I AM BACK FROM READING THE REST OF YOUR BRILLIANT WORDS. *whoosh* I love you so. Allie Day/Christmas Adam sounds wonderful, and I love your careful gift giving. While I am objectively good at gift giving (I pay careful attention, too, and sneakily snatch up ideas all year round), I STRESS OUT about it. I want to give the right things! And I want to give *all* the things! I’m kind of scared that I’ve GIVEN TOO MANY THINGS this year. I would like to think that nothing is too much, but I worry that I will overstep into AWKWARD. (I won’t. I just worry.)

    The things!

    • Haha! How does it work, though?! If not magic it has to be human flesh!! I just discovered this trick where you can take your glasses off and hold the iPhone camera up to your face and have perfect vision. I don’t understand that either. It’s magic or there are 20/20 eyeballs inside the iPhone. MAGIC or BODY PARTS, Apple!?

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