I swore to myself that when I returned, it would be triumphantly with a thoughtfully composed and fully edited post. …but I’m sitting here at the library using the internet on borrowed time and I figured stopping by for a brief hello is better than a continued silence. I’m going to simply update you on a few things, though I think I’ve been in touch with most of you in other venues. The good news is: I’ve never been as happy as I am right now. Life is golden and lovely, and I feel (excuse the coming hipster philosophy…I feel ridiculous and I haven’t even typed it yet) more at peace, mentally/spiritually/physically than I have since I moved out here for college. Here’s what’s been happening in my life!
-Remember that time my living situation was unexpectedly turned on its head? That was a nightmare. But, like most things do, it all worked out in the end. Since we last spoke (pretend it hasn’t been an entire month, okay?) I’ve moved into the most wonderful apartment. I live alone now, and it’s perfect. I’m really cherishing having a place to retreat, a place that’s entirely mine. I love that I can have dinner parties with all my friends and not worry about my roommate’s anxiety. I love not being awoken by dogs at all hours, and not having dog hair on everything I own. …I’ve always had pet dogs, and I really do love them but it’s different when they’re not yours. I didn’t realize how unhappy I was in my previous living situation until I got well and out of it. I was living with a person who was often cruel and manipulative, and really good at making me feel bad about myself. I’ve been giddy and joyous and goofy in my rediscovery of independent happiness.
I have a garden of my own, but I’m not responsible for any of the yard work. (SCORE.) I love my neighbors, my neighborhood, my landlord, and my apartment. It was advertised as a studio, but it’s…frankly, it’s enormous. It has three separate rooms. And the price was way less than the traditional one-room studios in town. I’m so glad I found it…it was like the universe giving me a break after an intense spell of awfulawfulawful. The only tiny thing is… I haven’t set up internet yet. I won’t really need it until school starts back up, and I’m working A LOT, so I can’t really justify spending an exorbitant amount of money on something I can only actually use a few hours a day. Unfortunately… this means I can only visit you by hauling PC Hammer to a coffeeshop (he’s big and I’m lazy) or using a library computer. Until August. I know. It’s hard for me, too. But we’re gonna make it.
-I graduated college! That still feels utterly surreal. As in, I literally don’t understand how it happened. I spent three years at school and left with a degree in Writing, (which is somehow different from Creative Writing…but I was only one class shy of fulfilling that concentration, too. Nuts.) Literature and a minor in Women’s Studies. I wasn’t sure that I’d given myself enough time to do college, I thought I should stay an extra year and do some more growing but… I’ve learned so much, and had such wonderful experiences, and met the craziest (good and bad) folks. Also, I’m going straight into graduate school in the fall… I’m not really launching into the real world yet.
-I had Momster for a week! My mom lives 2,000ish miles away. I’ve seen her for a total of 10 days in the last 365. She came out for my graduation even though I told her not to…I lovedlovedloved having her here, but that ceremony was ridiculously long and boring. My mom is so great. Just marvelous. And really adorable. After graduation, I was inundated with messages from my friends who met her for a moment, all saying things like, “Your mom is the cutest person ever!!!” She’s where I get it from. (I feel like there could be a drum-cymbal sort of sound there? Some sort of acknowledgment of my self-aggrandizing tendencies?)
-Apparently, my graduation warranted a serious promotion at work. Not really a promotion, just a pay raise. I do all the same work and get paid waaaaaay more for it. It’s kind of obscene, truthfully. I feel guilty for making as much as I do now. I’m working nine hour days to help offset the cost of living/school next year, and it’s not so bad. There are worse ways to spend a summer.
-I’m going to Las Vegas?! My best friends from school are all leaving our town. I’m distraught and have this looming, foreboding feeling of loss. I’m trying not to miss folks before they’re even gone. To make the most of our time left together we’re…yeah. We’re going to Vegas. I don’t even know. (Any recommendations??)
Other than that, I’ve been doing LOTS of reading and writing. This is the first time in my life I haven’t had academic obligations and…it’s awesome. I love having the freedom to read whatever I want (right now: a biography of Lorca, As the Great World Spins and A Short History of Women) without feeling guilty for putting off class reading. I know there’s more I meant to tell you, but I’m running out of time here. Know that I love you all, and truly appreciate that you’ve stuck around through all the craziness. Thanks for being here. You’re beautiful. I hope you’re all having a wonderful summer.
Stay in touch and I’ll see you soon! xx