Gratitude Tuesday

Lately, this blog has been a thing that I open and proceed to stare at guiltily…daily.  I struggle to justify my words.  Like John Green’s Gus, “my thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations.”  (If you haven’t read The Fault in Our Stars, you probably should.)

This evening, like they do every year, my family will see the Sea Dogs play, and stick around for the post-game fireworks show.  I’ll be hanging out in Colorado.  There won’t be baseball or fireworks. Those things absolutely don’t matter, but there also won’t be my family.  And that makes me sad.  My mom sent me a picture of the garden today, and I felt an intense, bone-hollowing homesickness.  The water was so clear, and the trees so green…it was so much more alive than anything here.  I love Colorado; I truly do.  But I miss fireflies.

Sometimes it’s healthy to indulge lonely, homesick feelings, but I think it’s more important to pause, be present and appreciative.  Thus… a brief list of Things I Like.

This summer has been stellar, interspersed with bursts of sadness as people move away to start their post-college lives. I feel incredibly lucky to have such brilliant friends.  After the Unstable Roommate Situation left me without a home this semester, I fell in with a group of incredible people who are smart, funny, talented and genuinely kind.  I’m so grateful to have a home of my own now, and to have wonderful individuals stopping by and filling it with love.  Sappy!

Camp Letters
Katherine, light and love of my life, is off being a camp counselor this summer.  I’ve been having extreme Camp Separation Anxiety.  I don’t know what to do with myself when I’m not talking to Katherine every second of the day.  Which is how I’ve ended up sending her about a million nine page letters, leaving utterly deranged voicemails at two in the morning and offering such sage relationship advice as, “LIFE IS SHORT. INDULGE YOUR HORMONES.”  Katherine is such a hyper-fab lady that she hasn’t even told me to knock it off.

Making Things
I went to an amazing yarn store with my friend this week.  I’ve never seen so much yarn in my life…or so many enthusiastic white ladies spending hundreds of dollars on yarn.  I… somehow spent $32 dollars on a single skein.  This feels like an expenditure that would make my mom disown me.  But (with a lot of help) I finally figured out circular needles. So…hooray for making things yourself instead of supporting sweatshops?  Also, I used the last of my Armour Etch and barely burned myself!  I have a bad history of awful acid burns from that stuff.

Lush Shampoo
My hair is confused by this climate.  The lack of ocean turns it into a half-curl extra-frizz mess.  I have a ton of hair, but it’s absurdly fine and totally panics if I put anything in it.  I’ve been using the same Lush shampoo since January (it lasts FOREVER) but I’d been putting conditioner in after to tame the frizz.  I’ve been skipping the conditioner and my hair is like, shiny and stuff.  (I always feel insanely vapid talking about this stuff.)  I don’t even know.  It’s chemical-free but way easier to use than baking soda.  My hair is finally happy- it took three years, but I’ve figured you out, Colorado!!

Say Anything, Say Anything
I’m so into it.


3 thoughts on “Gratitude Tuesday

  1. i think i belong to the “loved than lost” school of thought, and being homesick makes the heart grow fonder, i think.
    good god, i’m just mixing my cliched sayings left and right in this comment. :P

    • The ‘better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all’ thought school? It took me like ten tries to type that… I kept unintentionally putting those Death Cab lyrics, “I knew that you were a truth that I would rather lose than to have never lain beside at all”. I was stuck in a RadioLab loop, I just kept backspacing and then typing the same thing again. FAILING.

      Anyway, I feel like you’ve just given me some sort of revelation. Whether you mean to or not, your comments always spawn responses that are so long they become huge drafts of posts waiting to be made coherent and posted. You’re brill!

      • i’m just surprised my comment wasn’t a whole blog post long. like the one i just left on your latest post. *face/palm*

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