Hi, everyone! Long time, huh? After taking Autoethnography this semester, I’ve become very wary about what I share, where, and how. In exciting news, I started another blog as my final project for that course. And it’s going to grow up to be my thesis project! I’m so excited! The blog is called Angry Feminist Killjoy. I’ve been really delighted by the response- in just two weeks it has more visits and views than this little blog has after two years! Which makes sense, because much as I love writing about my life, I don’t expect many other folks to be interested in reading about it. Writing about actual issues that effect all of us obviously has more of an appeal.
Additional exciting news… I’m finished with my first year of graduate school! I’m officially halfway through! That’s such an incredible feeling. There are lots of things that aren’t great about grad school, but I’m happy to say that this has been the best year of my life so far. I have healthy and rewarding relationships. I have a supportive and wonderful friend group. I love myself! I’m getting better all the time, and it feels great. It’s such a stark contrast to the last three years. I was miserable, insecure, and had pretty terrible friends/partners as an undergrad. My life isn’t perfect now. There are still fellas who do me wrong. (No scrubs!) I still have tiny existential crises now and then. But I’m much better equipped to handle life now. I know how to take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. After years of serious depression, it feels so good to be really and truly happy.
Okay, now a more focused update! Yesterday, the worst stomach pain I’ve ever felt emerged out of nowhere. I was waiting for it to ease up, but on hour three of intense pain, I headed to the Emergency Room. I was showing some signs of early appendicitis, but the location of my pain wasn’t consistent with appendicitis. I’d been asked about the possibility of pregnancy about a million times. There is literally no way I could be pregnant right now, but everyone seemed to be hoping they could put me on one of those, “Surprise Pregnancy!” shows.
I had an ultra sound at 1 am. It was cool! Science is so neat. There was no fetus floating around, because there’s 0% chance I’m pregnant, but I got to see my organs floating around. My sister described them as looking like the Bic Pen mascot, Ewoks, and Tremors. I thought they looked like manatees in an ocean. My appendix didn’t show up on the ultra sound. The doctor wasn’t sure, but was leaning toward early appendicitis. I had to wait eight hours, basically to let the appendix grow more irritated, which would help us reach a more definitive conclusion about the cause of my pain.
This morning I had a CT scan. As soon as the results came in, I was on my way to the Operating Room. Definitely appendicitis! I really didn’t want to have surgery, but I wanted a ruptured appendix even less. Right before the surgery, there was more pregnancy grilling. I understand and appreciate the thoroughness of the surgeons. The medicine can really harm a fetus, and I certainly wouldn’t want that. But as there was still 0% chance I was pregnant, I didn’t appreciate having to discuss my sex life, the type of IUD I have, the dates of my last period, and other questions I’d already answered a million times. I really do appreciate their concern for the potential fetus, but I would have also appreciated some trust and a little less condescension from those inquiring gentlemen.
The operation was only supposed to take 15 minutes, but ended up being a bit more than an hour. Turns out my appendix was a bit tricky! It was unusually long, stretching all the way up under my ribcage! That’s why I wasn’t exhibiting classic symptoms, the location of my pain was a little unusual because my appendix was a little unusual. I got to look at it as I was coming out of the anesthesia. It was cool!
I did have to sell my ticket to see David Sedaris perform tonight, which was a little bit devastating. I bought it the day tickets went on sale in November, and I had been ultra excited to see him. I’m on bed rest until Monday. I finished my coursework last week, and I’m so grateful I did! Another grad school bonus is the lack of finals. If this had happened last year, I would have been a train wreck! As it is now, I’m lounging about in bed, feeling rather bored actually. But I’m surrounded by books and the entire internet. And life is still very good.
PS: I hope this was coherent. There are doctor-issued drugs in my body that are making my brain a bit fuzzy!